Child of God
The child

Name: ruannerway
Age: 18
School: ACJC
Birthday: 11/02/1991
About you: I'm just a guy, looking for answers.



previous posts

Okay, since it's Good friday, and i'm up early. I ...
Well, this will be my last post before i enter NS....
I heard once that stars represent Suns of differen...
Whew, just finished trekking through Macritchie Tr...
Some interesting stuffs i saw today. Firstly, a me...
So... Last nights/This mornings ride was pretty aw...
Night cycling till 4am or so later... should be in...
K, it's been 1 month plus since i last updated, an...
So uh, went out with some mates yesterday, really ...
UPDATE!!!With A levels over... i can finally... BA...


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Friday, October 31, 2008

( @ 9:44 PM )

Okay, so... The last chinese exam in my life just ended yesterday (hopefully i can clear it the first time). And being a barker boy, if i get an E, i'd be very content already.

Today i finally met up with Duncan, and a few other guys as well. We went to watch Tropic Thunder, which is actually... A retarded show... Anyway, i went back to ACSBR with Duncan to go see teachers! (And at the same time sell off some tickets) Thanks to Mr Alan Lim, Mr Samuel Eio, Mrs Janet Ong, Mrs Yau Man Sang, for being such great great great teachers and i'll never forget you people! And a few others which i'm too lazy to type out...

Okay, now... Here's a topic i've been thinking of... HALLOWEEN

Halloween is actually an American Holiday (i think), but is now seen in Singapore as well due to the influx of foreigners in our country! So we also celebrate Halloween! Or at least the Americans do... Okay, so the thing about halloween is, it's supposed to be scary right? I mean, kids dressed up as Grim Reapers, Spirits and Ghosts and what-nots, well... It's supposed to be scary, but actually it isn't all that scary! As i was walking home just now i saw a bunch a of kids in their costumes walk past me and greeted my Happy Halloween, and likewise i replied them, that got me thinking, why do they wear all these outfits? Well obviously, it's to scare people! But no, instead they go up to a door, knock, and say "trick or treat" and they get candy. Okay, that's not the part i want to talk about. What i do want to talk about, is the scary part... Halloween, 31st October, not a really scary time actually... If you ask me, Halloween should be around mid of the Hungry Ghost Festival... NOWWWWWW, THAT'D BE FREAKY! In my opinion anyways, can you imagine? All the ash from the burning sets the PERFECT atmosphere! Smokey and Foggy! Excellent man! And then you have kids dressed up as Ghosts and Spirits! WHOOOOBOY! I'd be scared shitless man! I mean, here you are, burning notes for spirits in the departed world, and here they are knocking on your door expecting sweets! HOLY ****, i'd be freaked!

Happy Halloween! BOO!



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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

( @ 7:43 PM )

CHINESE A LEVELS TMR!!!!! All the best to all those who got C6 for O level chinese! To those who got A, go suck thumb.

Studied in school today, didn't expect irvin and mike to be there, kinda expected ianyang to be there (he's there everyday regardless of reason). Got an injury today! My first in a long time! Sustained it while playing frisbee, with Max's gosu backhand which is totally cool! Seriously, his backhand is world class, not being sarcastic here. Anw, studied finish my chinese! As in, the cheng yu and the yan yu. Memorized quite abit of em too! Hopefully tmr's paper won't be so tough, i need at least an E or i won't be satisfied...

Ju Hua Tai



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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

( @ 7:51 PM )

Today, it started with a bye, and ended with a bye. How strange...

Went to school to study today, some people who saw me were curious as to why i was in school. Well, in case some of you don't know, i didn't promote, i ADVANCED, meaning i have supplementary exams first thing next term, so i have to mug hard. Anyone wanna study with me? I'll be in school everyday till next year from morning till about 6 or so. Except Sundays, Saturdays(CO) and public holidays.

Covered quite abit of chinese, will now try to regurgitate all my idioms. Haha.
God is giving me strength! I can feel it! But i still wish things were back to when they were.. shrugs



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Monday, October 27, 2008

( @ 7:16 AM )

So, according to blog posts...

Start: August 8 2008
End: October 27 2008

Haha, quite short eh? I shall put this here as a reminder to myself next time!
And yes ken, i'll stop being so emo. Yes amanda, i'll stop being so serious. What's the point of being emo and serious anws? Not like it's going to change anything.
And on another note. CHINESE IS ON THURSDAY! *GASP*



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Sunday, October 26, 2008

( @ 9:02 PM )

Today was hymn sunday, basically it's a sunday where passages are read from the bible and then are followed by an organ response. So, some verses said today were very meaningful, and i shall now post them up, they're quite long so i'm taking the liberty of italicating them (cos blogger has no color change options anymore)

1 Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

2 Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-


3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,


4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,

5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

6 The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.

7 He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:

8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.

9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;

10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;

12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;

14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.

15 As for man, his days are like grass,
he flourishes like a flower of the field;

16 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.

17 But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD's love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children's children-

18 with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.


19 The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.

20 Praise the LORD, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.

21 Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.

22 Praise the LORD, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.
Praise the LORD, O my soul.

This is from psalm 103.
And now,

36Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. 37When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, 38and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

39When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner."

40Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you."
"Tell me, teacher," he said.

41"Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii,[a] and the other fifty. 42Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"

43Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled."
"You have judged correctly," Jesus said.

44Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."

48Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."

49The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?"

50Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

Luke 7:36-50
And lastly,

1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who is your[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

5Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.[b] 7You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. 11Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:1-17



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( @ 7:00 AM )

what. is. going. on.

I read my previous posts yesterday to find out more on how and why, and all i have to say is, wow.
I seriously don't know what to do. Maybe i should listen to ken, yeah, i think i should.
I knew it wouldn't go that way in the first place, yet i still want it to go that way after so long.
Well, there's a first to everything.

This morning i woke up feeling strange, i was reading what was going last night. I shouldn't have begun smsing at all. ARGH sfjklghajksdfhsdgfk.
God, tell me what to do, show me a way. Help me.

This ain't going to be a good Sunday at all.



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Saturday, October 25, 2008

( @ 6:42 PM )

Okay, i shall try now, to be not so emo, and take things as they are.



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( @ 5:08 PM )

Today i tried, it hurts, it hurts alot, and something made it even worse. CO today was possibly the worst CO in my entire life. But i know, that things have to be this way in order for me to move on. I'm sorry.



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Friday, October 24, 2008

( @ 4:53 AM )

Well, i finally found out my promotional status yesterday. Truthfully, i expected it, but i still did not cross out the possibility of my retaining. And yes, i advanced.
Found out instead that 2 of my good friends would be retaining. It just wouldn't be SB8 without you guys anymore. Well, to these 2 people, remember the good times we had (all we had were good times anyway) and continue to work hard, do not waste this extra year that God has given you, take it, use it, and get something worthwhile out of it.

To all those who advance, it's time to buck up, the school believes that we can do it, and I intend to show them that i can, will you also? This just means that the holidays won't really be holidays anymore, but hey, we've had 16 years of it, isn't it a bit boring? Time to try studying during the holidays, maybe it'd make a nice change. To all those who promoted, well, good for you. Seriously.

I think i polo-ed to much yesterday, but will polo again with the class today.

On a side note. My feelings are a bit messed up.

you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone
You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology.
It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.
(got this from a friend, i think)



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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

( @ 8:30 PM )

Today, even though i've been through this so many times, this is the first time i felt so weird. When it was you and me, it used to be different, but now, it feels so weird.
Things should have gone up, not down. Now, i'm beginning to wonder whether things will return to what they were before. This is hurting me. God, give me strength through this. I know i'm not ready, yet i feel as if i'm ready. Guys, be wary of this feeling.
I'll continue to try my best to make things to how they were before, never knew i felt so strongly about this...

CO is boring.



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Monday, October 20, 2008

( @ 10:46 PM )

School was retarded today, the malay stall aunty had no samosa =( had i known i probably wouldn't have gone cos it was such a retarded day.

Just finished OP editing, and am currently writing out summarized points on fullscap to be transferred onto cue cards tomorrow when i buy them from the bookshop. Everyone's so caught up with WR, OP, and Chinese, it's amazing that even after promos, there's still so much work to do. Last time after O levels, or after any exam for that matter, it'd just be play play play all the way till the next year, now it's different. And if i advance to J2, this won't be much of a holiday either \:

Can't wait till 7th November (official last day of exams for the rest of the year!)



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Sunday, October 19, 2008

( @ 10:07 PM )

I'm feelings shleepy (even after a 2 hr nap this afternoon)

Finally done with my OP! hopefully the others would have done theirs too.

Here's a more specific explanation of my day today.
I've been through a nice morning of constant nagging from both my parents on their take on how i should approach exams, and believe you me, it was very very annoying... You guys just don't get it, you and your ancient times examinations and the now times examinations are just different, stop trying to act as if you know.

I think this is going to get me killed, but there's not really a good prospect in living anyways...



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( @ 4:30 PM )

Nothing much to post about really. Results came back, quite unexpected. Retaining, Advancing, Promoting, are all open to me, it all depends on what the school does.

On another note, this feeling will not go away without a fight...

On yet another note. I went to church today with one purpose, that is to find what i've lost, and yes, I have found it.. It is my life in Christ. Nothing beats a good worship session with friends. My life has been refocused.

Surely as the sun will rise, you'll come to us



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Thursday, October 16, 2008

( @ 11:55 AM )

In this past 17 years of my life. I think now i finally know, that "liking" someone is just a temporary thing. From past experiences, when I liked someone, it was just temporary, and lasted from 1 week (shortest) to 3 weeks (longest). To "like", just means a temporary infatuation that may be possibly triggered off by good-looks or "sexy-ness". And this is by no means love at all.

The purpose of this first paragraph above, is to tell a special someone how much she means to me, and that this is the first time that i am experiencing this, it has been already about 3 months, but still I am unsure of my own feelings, which just reminds me, that I came up quite some time ago, a list of ways to find out if you really love that person, and one the ways, is the 6 month wait to see if you still like the person after 6 months. If after 6 months you still like the person, it may be very probably love... After all, 6 months IS a long time. And it really is a test to find out if you do indeed love the person.

And so, at this point in this post, if that special girl is reading. I will say now, that I am sorry for rushing things, and when the 6 months is up, which is around December or so. I will ask you again, and hopefully then, I will surely know what it is i feel for you.



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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

( @ 8:58 PM )

I just did something, which i don't quite know why i did but i guess it's all good... i think? The road ahead now leads two ways, either up, or down. I'm hoping it's up.

School is a sufficient waste of time. And next week it just keeps on getting better with each day. OP is tomorrow and my group is thinking of boycotting it (no objection there)

There are so many things i want to blog.. But as i was just reminded by Inspector D****, blogs are PUBLIC, and anyone anywhere anytime can read them. so no.



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Sunday, October 12, 2008

( @ 6:10 PM )

~To have loved and lost is better than not to have love at all~ "HOW BOUT TO HAVE LOVED AND RECEIVED LOVE BACK IS GREATER THEN ANYTHING HUH?" this is to the loser who made that stupid quote up.

Anyway, today's sermon was given by Adriel, cos today was Laity's sunday. Felt really really tired today, prayed about the matters of my heart at the altar, hoping to find answers to my questions.

I feel so weird and lonely all of a sudden, maybe it'll pass...



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Saturday, October 11, 2008

( @ 9:29 PM )

CO today was quite a waste of time, practiced luan yun fei during sectionals, which is by far the worst song i have ever played in terms of rhythm and tempo.

Jogged in the morning followed by a dip in the pool after, i think i shall make this a weekly affair as long as there's CO.

~I don't want anything to end. I want to protect you, shelter you and care for you.
I just want to be the guy who'll be there for you when you are down, i will listen to all your problems, i will help you overcome those problems. I want to be that shoulder for you to rest/cry on whenever wherever. I want to repay you back for all the happiness and joy you've brought into my life, and i want to do that by showing you all the love, care and concern i possibly can. All this, i am willing to do... at least... i was...if it means anything, you meant more to me than any other person at one point in time till i refocused my life...
~



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Friday, October 10, 2008

( @ 10:12 PM )

So... here's an update of my week so far!

Wednesday: Open House
Nothing much to report, alot of running around, very tired. Went for dinner with CO peeps after open house.

Thursday: AC Games Day-1
Didn't go school, instead stayed home, tidied up room abit (though it still looks like a mess), went out to meet old barker classmates and hung out with them.

Friday: AC Games Day-2
Went to school, owned at floorball 2-0. Forfeited the other matches cos the class couldn't be bothered to play. Almost died of boredom and tiredness.



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Tuesday, October 07, 2008

( @ 8:41 PM )

Well, promos are finally over! and so are a few things... but never mind... as long as you are happy. Even though promos are over, this week is still pretty busy...

Wednesday: Open House (OP)

Thursday: AC Games+ meeting with old friends (OP)

Friday: AC Games (OP)

Saturday: CO and maybe go friends' church (OP)

Sunday: Whole day spam OP

I'll just leave it at this...



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Sunday, October 05, 2008

( @ 7:14 AM )

Well, it's been one full day of not hearing from you, the first day in about 2 months. I have to admit that i still worry and felt strange when i didn't receive anything. Hm, maybe it'll all go away soon enough...



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Saturday, October 04, 2008

( @ 9:32 PM )

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. OR so someone said...

Went to school today after i realised i can't study at home due to multiple distractions. While some people are enjoying their post promos period, i and a few others are still studying for the upcoming physics paper.

Played frisbee, with a really lousy frisbee which broke the moment it landed wrongly. But it was a free gift, so be more understanding people...

I still miss the times we had...



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Thursday, October 02, 2008

( @ 7:27 PM )

Today was... totally slack. I just went to school for SPA and went out for lunch with my dad and his friends and then came home and hit the sack.

Oh, i discovered a new way to eat saba! yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Damn nice method btw, one of dad's friends discovered it. Very good.

~What the world will never take away~

Maths tomorrow! must get at least 60 to pass overall! This is the paper that determines whether or not i promote.

Please God grant me clarity of mind and steadiness to do my paper calmly just like you did for me today. Please God I ask for your strength and wisdom to help me through tomorrow. You said in Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." I pray now that you take away all my anxiety and help me through tomorrow. Amen



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Wednesday, October 01, 2008

( @ 7:55 PM )

I can never treat you like a normal friend. To me you're much more than that and it'll always be like that.

Screw promos again...



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